I did contact one of my parents’ siblings. I got a response back, and I got two answers.
1. – there wasn’t widespread knowledge of what was going on.
2. – if I’d wanted support from this person, I wouldn’t have gotten it.
They basically wished me the best and hoped I could work stuff out.
Maybe I am thinking this is worse than it actually was. This kind of response makes me doubt myself. That has to stop, but it’s not easy to do.
Would I have left any of my kids as a teenager to fend for themselves? No. Would I have never spoken about things that needed to be talked about? No. Would I have invalidated their pain over events? No. Would I have let them believe they were hated by family? No. Or any of the other things? Again, no. But that’s me.
I was feeling like I was getting somewhere, felt sure of myself that I was moving towards a better mental space. This email deflated me. Made me feel alone again. At least my interpretation of the family is correct. No one would have helped or cared. No one cares now.
Oh well it not news, I really shouldn’t be surprised.
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